one year now since i met you

i had one of the best weekends of my life this time last year. We "met" the Wisconsin boys in Ivory through myspace in November of 2005 and we had all been talking through aim and myspace messages and became great friends. they finally went on a nation-wide tour and came to California last july for the first time and we spent 3 amazing days together, hanging out and having so much fun. we started in san francisco and ended up in anaheim and west hollywood and got to be their merch girls and just hang out and do whatever and it was so much fun.

it is weird thinking back on how we initially met and how so much has changed with all of us in the last (almost) 2 years and how i still talk to all of them (not really dan, except i do talk to his girlfriend Amy). It is just great to have people in my life that are just great guys and i know whenever they make it out here again (or maybe i'll someday make it out there), it will be just as fun, if not more, and, i hope, it will be just like we havent missed a beat.

with all the new people in my life, it is crazy to think of what it would have been like if they were in my life sooner and if we would have been friends. i talked to Holly yesterday and this is the "anniversary" of when her and her ex broke up, and then its this anniversary for me so i thought that was cool. Then we got to talking about "what if we knew eachother at that time?". She admitted that i probably would not have wanted to be her friend because she went a little crazy because of everything going on in her life. who really knows? all i know is that God's timing is perfect.

I have been a little more hesitant about moving to LA because of my new amazing friends. I will miss them so much. When i first decided to move with jessssssica, we both wanted to move to get out of the bay because we were both sick of it. then we parted ways, and that kind of made me want to move more. to start over and make new friends and i felt as though there was nothing keeping me in san jose. but then i really started growing closer to stacy ernst and all my small group and i knew it would be hard to leave them. then i met, well, i knew brooke, but i met holly and betsy and "re-started" my friendship with brooke, and i havent stopped hanging out with them for almost a month know and i couldnt ask for better friends. plus Greta is here (in the bay) permanently now that she is done with school and lindsay and i are hanging out alot too. they are the reasons i would want to stay in san jose and they made me really start doubting whether or not i would move. not by telling me i shouldnt because they all know and believe that this is what i need, but their friendships are all so great. i know we will still be friends when i am gone, but it will be so different.

i thought about it more, and i would like to say i prayed about it alot, but i cant lie, i havent prayed about it much at all. i do constantly say/think "whatever God's will is, is what i will do" and i guess thats sort of a prayer because i am admitting to myself and others that my life is in His hands, but i still need to pray more. anyways, i realized that i need to do this. i need to live away and on my own. it may not be permanent but it needs to be done. i have already made plans with roommates and it would be very unlike me to bail. i am so excited to live in Southern California and who knows what God will do in my life and where i will be this time next summer.

i often think back to last summer and even just a few months ago and i try and remember how i was thinking my life would be at this time now. back then, i was planning on being in LA already. i would be living with jericha and jesssssssssssica and i would have a job by now and hopefully some new friends. its crazy to see how much can change in just a short while. and i know it all happened for a reason. If i had already been in LA and i would not know Holly, Betsy and Brooke and its sad to think of how much i would have been missing out on great friendships.

who knows where i will be at this time next year. God does and thats all that matters. my dad taught in college group this morning and my mom "ditto'd" him saying if God opens a door for you, you walk through it. period. if along the way He shuts a door, then you stop. dont try and break it down. He'll open another door. and for this moving out situation, as of right now, the door is wide open and i need to take a huge leap through it and i am so ready and willing to and i cant wait to see what He does in my life when i am down there.