Tuesday, July 22, 2008

here i go again

Look at me now, will I ever learn?
I don't know how but I suddenly lose control
There's a fire within my soul
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist ya?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed ya

Monday, July 21, 2008

emo day

i woke up this morning to get ready for work when my mom told my our dog, cosmo, isn't doing well. my dad took him out to go to the bathroom this morning and he kind of hobbled down the stairs slowly. then when it was time to go back up, he wouldn't do it. then he wasn't even able to walk. it was weird because he was perfectly fine the night before. i called in to work and said i wasn't coming in (last time we had to put a dog to sleep, i didn't get to say goodbye and i wasn't about to let that happen again). so we took him to the vet around 10am. 2 hours later they call and say they are going to give him x-rays around 1:30 and they'd call us as soon as he was done and they had the results, somewhere before 3. 3 rolled around and nothing so my mom and i decided to just go in. he was still in the x-ray room when we got there. because he is such a big dog, they had to give him 2 doses of sedation meds. finally the doctor came out and said he has 2 inflamed vertabrae along his spine and he'll need a shot of cortizone and then we'll have to give him some meds too.

bottom line: he'll be walking in probably a few days but no stairs.
problem: he has to go downstairs to go to the bathroom.
solution: we are going to buy some fake grass or something and put it on our upstairs patio and train him to go on that.


thanks for those who were praying.
it was a long day for us, filled with many, many tears.
including those of joy.



ps - the reason we were so sad was because he is 9 years old and if whatever was wrong with him required surgery, we wouldn't do it. it would be too expensive and as morbid as this is, who knows how much longer he will actually be around so really, there's no point.


so yay! i still have a dog!
and he's a beauty.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

countdown

Ten Anonymous Things You Want To Say To Ten Different People:

1. you are one of the few people i know i can tell absolutely anything too and you will never judge me or never get offended. you always know what to say to make me feel better and always know how to make me laugh. even though there was a time we were not friends, we still came out the other end and are even closer than ever. i love you and thank God for your friendship.

2. we had our rough patches at the beginning of our friendship, and i don't even think you knew it. but now, none of that matters. we have both grown so much in the last year, and only closer. i love you so much and love hanging out with you, no matter what we do.

3. you are one of the other people i can tell anything to and know i won't be judged and i don't worry about what will happen. but you need to work on not being a flake.

4. we were so close. i loved you and couldn't picture my life without you. but we grew apart and that was ok. i now hear that you have totally changed and are someone i really don't think you are. you constantly change yourself for the people around you and you need to get away from that all and find out who you truly are in yourself. and no one else.  

5. i seriously can't believe we are friends sometimes. haha. when i really look at who you are and who i am, we are SO DIFFERENT. yet, we went through a lot together and we were understand each other in ways that others don't see. i love that we are friends and continue to be friends even though we are miles away. ps - don't give up on your one true love (ok, i think this one will know who she is)

6. i love you. always have, always will.

7. i like being your friend. we always have a good time together but you need to realize he's not the one. end it and get on with your life.

8. we're new at this. slow down a little.

9. we don't talk much and we don't have a "friendship" but i love you and i wish we did have a friendship. i see it in others and i get jealous. maybe one day. but who knows.

10. we hung out for about 20 minutes but i really could see me spending the rest of my life with you. crazy. but its true.

Nine Things About Yourself:

1. I don't judge.

2. I am in love with God.

3. Music is everything to me. i can't explain it.  

4. i like to take pictures and some people say i am really good at it. but i don't know if it's ever something i can do as a job.  

5. I am a very open-minded person. 

6. my family and friends mean everything to me. 

7. I can be extremely ridiculous and random. but its something that you have to love about me cuz it's not going away. 

8. I trust easily and have never been proved wrong. 

9. I love to sing and dance.

Eight Ways To Win My Heart:

1. sing to me, no matter what you sound like.
2. make me smile, laugh.
3. wink at me.
4. surprises!
5. love God.
6. be content with who are and the way you are made.
7. love me for me. don't make me change.
8. hold hands.

Seven Things That Cross Your Mind A lot:

1. him
2. him
3. who will he be?
4. can i be happy?
5. what will i be in 5 years? one year? 
6. Some sort of song or lyric.
7. family and friends

Six Things You Wish You Never Did:

1. i
2. regret
3. nothing
4. everything happens
5. for a
6. reason

Five Turn Offs:

1. Cockiness.
2. no sense of humor
3. stupidity
4. close-minded.
5. No manners, not a gentlemen.

Four Turn Ons:

1. love for God
2. Sense of humor.
3. scruff
4. little belly

Three Smiley's That Describe Your Life:

1. :)

2. ;)

3. :/

Two Things You Want To Do Before You Die:

1. Travel.

2. have a family

One Confession:

1. i am finally starting to like me for me. no, love me for me. now maybe someone else can.

Friday, July 4, 2008

if you know who sings this, you can't make fun of me because you know too

I’m tugging at my hair
I’m pulling at my clothes
I’m trying to keep my cool, I know it shows
I’m staring at my feet
My checks are turning red
I’m searching for the words inside my head

I’m feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you’re worth it
You’re worth it

If I could say what I wanna say
I’d say I want to blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I wanna see
I wanna see you go down on one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I’m wishing my life away
With these things I’ll never say

It doesn’t do me any good
It’s just a waste of time
What use is it to you what’s on my mind?
If it ain’t coming out
We’re not going anywhere
So why can’t I just tell you that I care

(Cause) I’m feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you’re worth it
You’re worth it 

If I could say what I want to say
I’d say I want to blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I’m wishing my life away
With these things I’ll never say

What’s wrong with my tongue
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble
Like I’ve got nothing to say

Yes, I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it

Yes, I’m wishing my life away
With these things I’ll never say

If I could say what I want to say
I’d say I want to blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I’m wishing my life away
With these things I’ll never say

These things I'll never say

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

every woman should...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... 
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... 
something perfect to wear if the employer, 
or date of her dreams 
wants to see her in an hour... 


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE . 
a youth she's content to leave behind.... 


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .. 
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age.... 


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... 
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra... 


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .. 
one friend who always makes her laugh..
and one who lets her cry... 


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... 
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family... 


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .. 
eight matching plates, 
wine glasses with stems, 
and a recipe for a meal, 
that will make her guests feel honored... 


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE . 
a feeling of control over her destiny.. 


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 
how to fall in love without losing herself.. 


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 
how to quit a job, 
break up with a lover, 
and confront a friend 
without ruining the friendship... 


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 
when to try harder... 
and WHEN TO WALK AWAY... 


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 
that she can't change the length of her calves, 
the width of her hips, 
or the nature of her parents.. 


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 
that her childhood may not have been perfect...
but it's over... 


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 
what she would 
and wouldn't do for love 
or more... 


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.... 
how to live alone... 
even if she doesn't like it... 


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. . 
whom she can trust, 
whom she can't, 
and why she shouldn't take it personally... 


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 
where to go... 
be it to her best friend's kitchen table.. 
or a charming Inn in the woods.... 
when her soul needs soothing... 


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. 
What she can and can't accomp lish in a day...
a month...
and a year...