Love You Much Better

Why do you sing to everybody but me?
Why do I let it go on?
You know that you've got such a music box song in my head all day long.

You fell for a girl with wild eyes,
Dressed in satin and lace.
Oh but she's just an empty diamond mine with moan across her face.

I can love you much better
If you can't see it you're blind
I can love you much better
Oh you know someday I'm gonna make you mine.

You are the daydream in my eyes,
There whenever I wake up
But the colors never crystallize and I never get enough
Why do you kiss everybody but me?
I just sit back and watch
Oh but one day soon, I'm gonna grab you by the collar and kiss you all I want!

I can love you much better
If you can't see it you're blind
I can love you much better
Oh you know someday, I'm gonna make you mine.

kids these days

i babysat last night for a 6 year old boy and i was so shocked and appalled by some of the things he would say.

1. he just learned how to read and was reading one of those Dick and Jane learn to read books and the first time he had to read the name Dick, he started laughing and said "haha i can't believe that's in here...teeheehee". the fact that he knew what that was at that age and made a comment about it blew me away. i am pretty sure i didn't think about those things that early on. ok, maybe i was sheltered a little bit, but come on?! 6 years old and laughing at the word Dick being in a book?!?

2. we went to mcdonald's (his choice, not mine) and they have these lamps that are shaped, probably closest to a tear drop than anything, and he looked up at them and then looked down at his...well, you know...and said "haha that lamp looks like something i know. jessica, do you know what i am talking about?" (and then he proceeded to point in the direction of what he was talking about). i just said "you need to not talk about that", and he just laughed.

maybe that's normal and always has been the average age of when boys start talking like that, but i just feel like that is way way too young. i hope my kids aren't like that. but i also hope they aren't sheltered, nerdy, church kids. is there a balance? i feel like i was raised perfectly in that sense, but i don't really remember myself in elementary school. i could have been that nerdy church kid that knew nothing about life. but maybe that's a good thing? i don't know. i guess i will worry about it when i actually have kids. i think i think about those things more from working at a preschool and seeing a lot of what i DON'T want my kids to turn out like.

life in LA

life in LA was awesome. and sometimes i forget how many people i saw. and most of them i helped out at my work. yeah, it was pretty amazing. i wouldn't take it back for anything. i do miss it but i love my life here now. anyways, here's a photo blog of whom i saw while living in Los Angeles.

JASON BATEMAN

PAUL RUDD

QUENTIN TARANTINO

JASON LEE

ETHAN EMBRY

DONALD FAISON

MINDY KALING

ASHLEE SIMPSON AND PETE WENTZ

PATRICK STUMPH

KELLY ROWAN

KEN MARINO

"i told you, i need an attitude adjustment"

i've come to realize that if i start my day out thinking it is going to be a bad day, its going to be a bad day.
if i start my day out thinking its going to be a good day, its most likely going to be a good day.
of course there is always the inevitable of bad things happening. but i'm beginning to see about 90% of it is attitude. i need to change my attitude at work sometimes and stop getting so stressed out and frustrated with the kids so easily. thats just not me. i seem to take a forceful tone with the kids more than what is necessary. so kourtni and i decided to help keep each other in check because we both seem to be doing it and its not who we are. and its not fair to the kids too.

i had a really good discussion today with my co-worker jaime. we were just talking about our personalities and how be both can be really shy at times but other times not at all. she said she over-compensates sometimes and it comes off a little cocky, which i've seen with her. but i think its cool that she recognizes it. anyways, it was just really cool to get to chat with my co-worker and really get to know her better.

i'm just trying to give up doing it on my own and let God take the wheel. but that's a whole different story.

no subject

"That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else" -Sixteen Candles

i believe

Seen your face in every child that smiles,
but I can't help but rejoice.
And I've heard the song called thunder,
but I knew it was your voice.
Touched the holes in your calloused hands,
stuck my fingers in your side.
oh I was six-feet-deep in doubt but
now I'm sure that you're alive

And it's safe to say we'll never know everything,
still blessings we receive.
And it’s safe to say I really don't know a thing,
still I choose to believe.

Smelt the scent of angel sweet floating in the summer air.
I have breathed in deep the incense,
while the saints send up their prayers.
I have tasted now I see
oh I see that you are good.
And I have ate your perfect body,
and I have drank your blessed blood

And it's safe to say we'll never know everything,
still blessings we receive.
And it’s safe to say I really don't know a thing,
still I choose to believe.

And all the answers that I find,
only take me so far down the line.
The tracks always give out
yeah it's a leap from the lions mouth.

And it's safe to say we'll never know everything,
still blessings we receive.
And it’s safe to say I really don't know a thing,
still I choose to believe.