The Holiday

"I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual."

Love You Much Better

Why do you sing to everybody but me?
Why do I let it go on?
You know that you've got such a music box song in my head all day long.

You fell for a girl with wild eyes,
Dressed in satin and lace.
Oh but she's just an empty diamond mine with moan across her face.

I can love you much better
If you can't see it you're blind
I can love you much better
Oh you know someday I'm gonna make you mine.

You are the daydream in my eyes,
There whenever I wake up
But the colors never crystallize and I never get enough
Why do you kiss everybody but me?
I just sit back and watch
Oh but one day soon, I'm gonna grab you by the collar and kiss you all I want!

I can love you much better
If you can't see it you're blind
I can love you much better
Oh you know someday, I'm gonna make you mine.

kids these days

i babysat last night for a 6 year old boy and i was so shocked and appalled by some of the things he would say.

1. he just learned how to read and was reading one of those Dick and Jane learn to read books and the first time he had to read the name Dick, he started laughing and said "haha i can't believe that's in here...teeheehee". the fact that he knew what that was at that age and made a comment about it blew me away. i am pretty sure i didn't think about those things that early on. ok, maybe i was sheltered a little bit, but come on?! 6 years old and laughing at the word Dick being in a book?!?

2. we went to mcdonald's (his choice, not mine) and they have these lamps that are shaped, probably closest to a tear drop than anything, and he looked up at them and then looked down at his...well, you know...and said "haha that lamp looks like something i know. jessica, do you know what i am talking about?" (and then he proceeded to point in the direction of what he was talking about). i just said "you need to not talk about that", and he just laughed.

maybe that's normal and always has been the average age of when boys start talking like that, but i just feel like that is way way too young. i hope my kids aren't like that. but i also hope they aren't sheltered, nerdy, church kids. is there a balance? i feel like i was raised perfectly in that sense, but i don't really remember myself in elementary school. i could have been that nerdy church kid that knew nothing about life. but maybe that's a good thing? i don't know. i guess i will worry about it when i actually have kids. i think i think about those things more from working at a preschool and seeing a lot of what i DON'T want my kids to turn out like.

life in LA

life in LA was awesome. and sometimes i forget how many people i saw. and most of them i helped out at my work. yeah, it was pretty amazing. i wouldn't take it back for anything. i do miss it but i love my life here now. anyways, here's a photo blog of whom i saw while living in Los Angeles.

JASON BATEMAN

PAUL RUDD

QUENTIN TARANTINO

JASON LEE

ETHAN EMBRY

DONALD FAISON

MINDY KALING

ASHLEE SIMPSON AND PETE WENTZ

PATRICK STUMPH

KELLY ROWAN

KEN MARINO

"i told you, i need an attitude adjustment"

i've come to realize that if i start my day out thinking it is going to be a bad day, its going to be a bad day.
if i start my day out thinking its going to be a good day, its most likely going to be a good day.
of course there is always the inevitable of bad things happening. but i'm beginning to see about 90% of it is attitude. i need to change my attitude at work sometimes and stop getting so stressed out and frustrated with the kids so easily. thats just not me. i seem to take a forceful tone with the kids more than what is necessary. so kourtni and i decided to help keep each other in check because we both seem to be doing it and its not who we are. and its not fair to the kids too.

i had a really good discussion today with my co-worker jaime. we were just talking about our personalities and how be both can be really shy at times but other times not at all. she said she over-compensates sometimes and it comes off a little cocky, which i've seen with her. but i think its cool that she recognizes it. anyways, it was just really cool to get to chat with my co-worker and really get to know her better.

i'm just trying to give up doing it on my own and let God take the wheel. but that's a whole different story.