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someone once asked me why i quote lyrics so much.
my response?

i am not a very good writer (my brother got all those genes). but like anyone else, i have alot of emotions. and i don't always know how to express them. thats where the lyrics come in. sometimes i hear/read some lyrics that just click in my head. it expresses exactly how i am feeling at that moment in time and they wrote it way better than i would ever be able to. i know, sometimes fancy lyrics and rhymes arent necessary but i can get so tongue tied i cant even find the normal words to say. i then get frustrated that people dont understand me. then a lyric comes along and says it for me.
maybe thats a cop-out. but whatever you wanna call it, its me. music is something i can never get enough of. this is one of the reasons i am so passionate about it. it just makes so much sense to me and maybe im a little jealous that i cant write it that way.

i feel really accomplished recently.
before i moved back to san jo, i said i wanted to get a job by the end of february. i ended up starting my new job 4 days after moving back. yeah. 4.
and i designed my new myspace background yesterday. okay, i kind of copied it from a shirt i saw at urban, but i made this one myself. i like it. i wanna make it into a shirt since urban is WAY over priced.

speaking of making shirts, im also feeling really artistic. i know, i have no talent in that area. but i have some ideas up in this noggin of mine and just need someone to help me put them on paper.

im helping start a magazine. it was supposed to be started awhile ago, but daniel hasnt been on top of things recently. but now that im back in san jo, he's really excited to have me help him more than i thought i was going to be "used for". im pretty much going to be his assistant. im really excited for this. i never imagined i would be involved in something this cool. now to help him get started....

i took an online strengths test and really enjoyed it. while taking the test, i was a little skeptical thinking there is no way this test can be legit. but turns out, it really was. and sharing the results with friends and family was cool because they too saw those strengths in me. here are my results.

Developer
You see the potential in others. Very often, in fact, potential is all you see. In your view no individual is fully formed. On the contrary, each individual is a work in progress, alive with possibilities. And you are drawn toward people for this very reason. When you interact with others, your goal is to help them experience success. You look for ways to challenge them. You devise interesting experiences that can stretch them and help them grow. And all the while you are on the lookout for the signs of growth—a new behavior learned or modified, a slight improvement in a skill, a glimpse of excellence or of “flow” where previously there were only halting steps. For you these small increments—invisible to some—are clear signs of potential being realized. These signs of growth in others are your fuel. They bring you strength and satisfaction. Over time many will seek you out for help and encouragement because on some level they know that your helpfulness is both genuine and fulfilling to you.

Adaptability
You live in the moment. You don’t see the future as a fixed destination. Instead, you see it as a place that you create out of the choices that you make right now. And so you discover your future one choice at a time. This doesn’t mean that you don’t have plans. You probably do. But this theme of Adaptability does enable you to respond willingly to the demands of the moment even if they pull you away from your plans. Unlike some, you don’t resent sudden requests or unforeseen detours. You expect them. They are inevitable. Indeed, on some level you actually look forward to them. You are, at heart, a very flexible person who can stay productive when the demands of work are pulling you in many different directions at once.

Empathy
You can sense the emotions of those around you. You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person’s perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person’s predicament—this would be sympathy, not Empathy. You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand. This instinctive ability to understand is powerful. You hear the unvoiced questions. You anticipate the need. Where others grapple for words, you seem to find the right words and the right tone. You help people find the right phrases to express their feelings—to themselves as well as to others. You help them give voice to their emotional life. For all these reasons other people are drawn to you.

Includer
“Stretch the circle wider.” This is the philosophy around which you orient your life. You want to include people and make them feel part of the group. In direct contrast to those who are drawn only to exclusive groups, you actively avoid those groups that exclude others. You want to expand the group so that as many people as possible can benefit from its support. You hate the sight of someone on the outside looking in. You want to draw them in so that they can feel the warmth of the group. You are an instinctively accepting person. Regardless of race or sex or nationality or personality or faith, you cast few judgments. Judgments can hurt a person’s feelings. Why do that if you don’t have to? Your accepting nature does not necessarily rest on a belief that each of us is different and that one should respect these differences. Rather, it rests on your conviction that fundamentally we are all the same. We are all equally important. Thus, no one should be ignored. Each of us should be included. It is the least we all deserve.

Communication
You like to explain, to describe, to host, to speak in public, and to write. This is your Communication theme at work. Ideas are a dry beginning. Events are static. You feel a need to bring them to life, to energize them, to make them exciting and vivid. And so you turn events into stories and practice telling them. You take the dry idea and enliven it with images and examples and metaphors. You believe that most people have a very short attention span. They are bombarded by information, but very little of it survives. You want your information—whether an idea, an event, a product’s features and benefits, a discovery, or a lesson—to survive. You want to divert their attention toward you and then capture it, lock it in. This is what drives your hunt for the perfect phrase. This is what draws you toward dramatic words and powerful word combinations. This is why people like to listen to you. Your word pictures pique their interest, sharpen their world, and inspire them to act.


taking that test made me realize my potential and i really wanna stop being so lazy and get stuff done. its weird what one silly little test can do! now lets see if i follow through....

the way i am

If you were falling, then I would catch you.
You need a light, I'd find a match.

Cuz I love the way you say good morning.
And you take me the way I am.

If you are chilly, here take my sweater.
Your head is aching, I'll make it better.

Cuz I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am.

I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair.
Sew on patches to all you tear.

Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.

nothing lasts forever

It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both

I tried and tried to let you know
I like you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

A bed that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
The misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep

Built a wall around my heart
I’ll never let it fall apart
But strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you, babe

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

Tough we have not hit the ground
It doesn't mean we're not still falling,
Oh I want so bad to pick you up
But you're still too reluctant to accept my help
What a shame, I hope you find somewhere to place the blame
But until then the fact remains

blah, blah, blah

hmmm. where to start.

big news first, i guess.
i'm moving back to san jose.
but no hard feelings.
i'm actually really excited.
i do love LA. and i do love my roommates. and i do love living on my own.
but i cant find a job. and i have no money. i miss my friends and family alot.
i need to save up money. and pay off debts.
so, february 15th, i'm moving home.
i am excited.
you should be too.


im ready to be an adult. a real one.
i thought moving out would make me more responsible and yes, it has.
but i need to learn to manage my money. and then, i'll be more of an adult.

i'm GOING to get a job by the end of February.

i'm pretty stoked for march.
march 7-9 = capitola beach house with my mom, aunts and cousins.
march 10 = GAVIN DEGRAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
march 11-16 = housesitting (a home with a spa!)

back to gavin degraw.
i have been waiting like 2 years to see this man again.
i saw him 7 times and i cant believe he's finally back.
i've fallen in love all over again.
*sigh*

1. Best moments of 2007?
new years. a week in Los Angeles. "work". reno. my small group. norway. popscene. santa cruz. photo class with steph. birthday weekend. oregon. san jose skate. meeting betsy and holly and re-meeting brooke. mandy moore. disney parties. sleepovers at lindsays. hume lake. moving to los angeles. virgin megastore. roommates. celebrities. shows. visiting san jose.

2. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
moved out of my parents house. started paying rent.

3. Did you keep the new years resolution you made last year?
I don’t make resolutions, I just tell myself to do one thing every year. Still hasn’t happened.

4. Did anyone close to you give birth?
nope

5. Did anyone close to you die?
no, thank God.

6. What countries did you visit?
none

7. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
money.

8. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory?
April 6-9, September 21st

9. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
moving to los angeles

10. What was your biggest failure?
not saving up enough money

11. Did you suffer illness or injury?
nope

12. What was the best thing you bought?
an apartment

13. Whose behavior merited celebration?
my friends are amazing

14. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed??
boys, atleast at the beginning of the year

15. Where did most of your money go??
gas, food, rent, bills

16. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
moving out

17. What songs will always remind you of 2007??
My Blue Heaven – Taking Back Sunday
When Did your heart go missing? - rooney
Hello, I'm in Delaware - Dallas Green
Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy
I Just Do - Dear and the Headlights
1234 - Feist
Breaking Up - Rilo Kiley
Misery Business - Paramore
Gardenia - Mandy Moore
Love Song - Sara Barielles
Taken Aback - The Rocket Summer
Best in Me - Sherwood

18. Compared to this time last year, are you
a) happier or sadder? happier.
b) thinner or fatter? thinner.
c) richer or poorer? poorer.

19. What do you wish you'd done more of?
saved money.

20. What do you wish you'd done less of?
complaining.

21. How did you spend Christmas?
working. dinner and movie with roommates

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
nope

23. How many one-night stands?
zero

24. What was your favorite TV program??
grey's anatomy, gossip girl, the office, LOST, ugly betty

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
i dont hate people

25. What was the best book you read?
blue like jazz

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? ?
bob dylan, steel train, dallas green, a fine frenzy, the reign of kindo

27. What did you want and get??
new life. a boy =D

28. What did you want and not get??
puppy.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? ?
hairspray, juno, lars and the real girl

30. What did you do on your birthday??
friday - the lashes in sf, saturday - hgb/blg/ths in sf, sunday - the actual in sf, monday (my actual bday) - rooney and everybody else in la

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
i hate to say it, but $$$$

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
comfortable

33. What kept you sane?
friends

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
christian bale & john krasinski & paul rudd

35. What political issue stirred you the most??
dont really follow politics

36. Who did you miss??
adam, chris, band losers and now i miss my family and friends in san jo

37. Who was the best new person you met??
my roommates, chris, holly, betsy, brooke

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
i learned to be responsible.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"an untold 22 year story"
"oh, it feels good to be free'

40. Any final comments?
i just decided to make life my own.

41. Was 2007 a good year for you?
yes

42. What was your least favorite moment of the year?
bad "breakups", leqving my friends and family

43. Where were you when 2007 began?
at a party in willow glen

ALSO
Favorite Album of 2007: Dear and the Headlights
Least Favorite Album of 2007: did nickelback come out with a cd in 07? cuz im sure it sucked
Favorite Show of 2007: the office
Favorite Movie of 2007: juno
Favorite Color of 2007: awkward yellow
Favorite Holiday of 2007: valentines day was pretty rad
Favorite Drink of 2007: diet coke with lime
Favorite Person of 2007: there's alot
Least Favorite Person of 2007: haha i think my roommates and i all agree on this one

44. Where will you be when 2007 ends?
i was at home

45. Who will you be with when 2007 ends?
myself, my phone, and my bale

46. Do you have a new years resolution for 2008?
meh

47. Did you fall in love in 2007?
nope

48. Did you breakup with anyone in 2007?
basically.

49. Did you make any new friends in 2007?
a buttload

50. Who are your favorite new friends?
didnt i answer this already?

51. What was your favorite month of 2007?
i dont know. this whole year is worth mentioning

52. Did you travel outside of the US in 2007?
nah

53. How many different states did you travel to in 2007?
2

54. Did you miss anybody in the past year?
there is never a moment when i dont miss someone

55. Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2007?
how much is too much

56. Did you do a lot of drugs in 2007?
none to be exact

57. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
not really

58. How much money did you spend in 2007?
too much

59. What are your plans for 2008?
visit chris, move out of this apt, get a new job, save money, go to new york

60. Any advice or last words?
live for yourself. do things you wanna do. your life is what you make it.

SOME PICTURES FROM 2007

JANUARY





FEBRUARY


MARCH







APRIL




JUNE









JULY







AUGUST


SEPTEMBER




OCTOBER




NOVEMBER





DECEMBER