Monday, February 9, 2009
chasing pavements
"Alone people don't like to hear about the together people. Okay. Even if the alone people are alone by choice. It's just sort of mean. It's sort of like bringing a 6-pack to an AA meeting."
Saturday, February 7, 2009
broken
The broken clock is a comfort
It helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow
From stealing all my time
And I am here still waiting
Though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best
Like you've already figured out
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
Is there healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to youu
The broken locks were a warning
You got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded
I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection
Inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose
They're still looking for life
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
Is there healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to you
I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what, you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on, to the words you say
You said that I will, will be okay
The broken light on the freeway
Left me here alone
I may have lost my way now
But I haven't forgotten my way home
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
Barely holding on to you
It helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow
From stealing all my time
And I am here still waiting
Though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best
Like you've already figured out
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
Is there healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to youu
The broken locks were a warning
You got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded
I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection
Inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose
They're still looking for life
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
Is there healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to you
I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what, you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on, to the words you say
You said that I will, will be okay
The broken light on the freeway
Left me here alone
I may have lost my way now
But I haven't forgotten my way home
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
Barely holding on to you
Sunday, January 25, 2009
feels like L.A.
Backstory: Ashley's friend Darryl works for some company that provides help to different acts that come into San Francisco. His job is to book their flights, hotels, transportation, etc and make their itinerary. One night, Ashley and he were talking and he told her he would email her a list of upcoming events and he could put her on the guest list. A few weeks later, Ashley received that email and in that email, it showed that there was going to be a midnight showing of our favorite movie, Wet Hot American Summer and some of the cast members were going to be there. So she chose that one, and she chose me to go with her. Something i will never be able to repay her for.
We showed up around 11:15 like Darryl said and talked to the will call guy and he made it sound like we might be able to get in if there's room because it's pretty full...even though we were on the guest list. So we were kind of freaking out and Darryl wasn't there yet (he was driving the cast over from an earlier event they had) but we waited it out. While waiting outside, Zak Orth, walked by. Finally, the guy called us over and gave us our tickets. We walked around the corner from the venue to see Darryl and say thanks when we almost bumped into Michael Showalter. And then we looked past him (Ashley had met him before and he was kind of a jerk so we didn't really care) and we saw everyone else. We then decided to go inside.
Right as we were walking in, it began. David Wain, the director/co-writer, came out and started introducing the cast members. They were Michael Showalter, Zak Orth, Michael Ian Black, Janeane Garofalo, Ken Marino, Joe Lo Truglio, and Peter Salett. They acted out a little of the movie, just being silly, trying to remember things that happened and then they opened it up for questions. No one asked a good question. Everyone was trying to be really funny and it just wasn't working. Ashley and I were pissed because they now probably think their fans are retards.
They left the stage and I went to the bathroom before the movie started and most of them were hanging out in the lobby. So i went back in and told ashley so she came out and we just stood out in the lobby in awe. They were then leaving and we decided we didn't want to stay and watch the movie and have a bunch of lame people quote it when we can watch it in the privacy of our own homes. Then Darryl text us and said they're going to an after party at a bar and we should come. so we did. The bar was closed for the private party and you had to be on the list to get in. We weren't on the list, but Darryl got us in. So we basically hung out in a bar with all those same people (minus Michael Showalter).
Earlier that day and again today they did a thing for an old MTV show called The State. A lot of the WHAS summer cast were on that show plus some others and they were at the bar too including. Thomas Lennon, Kerri Kenney, and Robert Garant. Also, a lot of people from the VH1 show Best Week Ever, were there too. Rob Huebel, Nick Kroll, John Mulaney, and Paul Scheer. Also, Tig from The Sarah Silverman Program and Rob Riggle. We didn't really feel comfortable talking to them so we just were in awe of being in their presence. We did however joke around with Ken Marion, Zak Orth and Nick Kroll by the bathrooms.
As the bar was closing (2am) and we were getting ready to leave, Darryl told us some people were going to be going to this guy Casey's house so we thought "ok. i guess we'll go." It was just a few blocks away and there were a lot of random people there we didn't know but some not so random people we did know (of) including David Wain, Tig, Nick Kroll and Aziz Ansari from the show Human Giant. We just hung out with them until about 4am and finally decided to go home arriving in my bed at 5am.
So yeah, i would say it was probably one of the greatest nights of my life.
We showed up around 11:15 like Darryl said and talked to the will call guy and he made it sound like we might be able to get in if there's room because it's pretty full...even though we were on the guest list. So we were kind of freaking out and Darryl wasn't there yet (he was driving the cast over from an earlier event they had) but we waited it out. While waiting outside, Zak Orth, walked by. Finally, the guy called us over and gave us our tickets. We walked around the corner from the venue to see Darryl and say thanks when we almost bumped into Michael Showalter. And then we looked past him (Ashley had met him before and he was kind of a jerk so we didn't really care) and we saw everyone else. We then decided to go inside.
Right as we were walking in, it began. David Wain, the director/co-writer, came out and started introducing the cast members. They were Michael Showalter, Zak Orth, Michael Ian Black, Janeane Garofalo, Ken Marino, Joe Lo Truglio, and Peter Salett. They acted out a little of the movie, just being silly, trying to remember things that happened and then they opened it up for questions. No one asked a good question. Everyone was trying to be really funny and it just wasn't working. Ashley and I were pissed because they now probably think their fans are retards.
They left the stage and I went to the bathroom before the movie started and most of them were hanging out in the lobby. So i went back in and told ashley so she came out and we just stood out in the lobby in awe. They were then leaving and we decided we didn't want to stay and watch the movie and have a bunch of lame people quote it when we can watch it in the privacy of our own homes. Then Darryl text us and said they're going to an after party at a bar and we should come. so we did. The bar was closed for the private party and you had to be on the list to get in. We weren't on the list, but Darryl got us in. So we basically hung out in a bar with all those same people (minus Michael Showalter).
Earlier that day and again today they did a thing for an old MTV show called The State. A lot of the WHAS summer cast were on that show plus some others and they were at the bar too including. Thomas Lennon, Kerri Kenney, and Robert Garant. Also, a lot of people from the VH1 show Best Week Ever, were there too. Rob Huebel, Nick Kroll, John Mulaney, and Paul Scheer. Also, Tig from The Sarah Silverman Program and Rob Riggle. We didn't really feel comfortable talking to them so we just were in awe of being in their presence. We did however joke around with Ken Marion, Zak Orth and Nick Kroll by the bathrooms.
As the bar was closing (2am) and we were getting ready to leave, Darryl told us some people were going to be going to this guy Casey's house so we thought "ok. i guess we'll go." It was just a few blocks away and there were a lot of random people there we didn't know but some not so random people we did know (of) including David Wain, Tig, Nick Kroll and Aziz Ansari from the show Human Giant. We just hung out with them until about 4am and finally decided to go home arriving in my bed at 5am.
So yeah, i would say it was probably one of the greatest nights of my life.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
this must be it. welcome to the new year.
every year, i have the same "resolutions". eat better, exercise. read the Bible, blah, blah, blah. it doesn't happen.
this year will be different. no more resolutions. just happiness.
part 1:
i signed up for 2 classes at West Valley.
U.S. History and Counseling 12.
i've never been excited for school.
and i am now? no, i am. i swear. just nervous.
part 2:
i no longer attend Hillside.
and i am trying out a new high school group (to be a volunteer).
part 3:
i have amazing friends who keep me sane, happy and confident.
i don't know where i wold be without their constant support and love.
i can't really go on without crying.
and on my to-do list:
abide by Psalm 37:4 'Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.'
save money (pay off debts & move out)
travel
say yes (this one is from Yes Man)
i think that's all. at least for now.
this year will be different. no more resolutions. just happiness.
part 1:
i signed up for 2 classes at West Valley.
U.S. History and Counseling 12.
i've never been excited for school.
and i am now? no, i am. i swear. just nervous.
part 2:
i no longer attend Hillside.
and i am trying out a new high school group (to be a volunteer).
part 3:
i have amazing friends who keep me sane, happy and confident.
i don't know where i wold be without their constant support and love.
i can't really go on without crying.
and on my to-do list:
abide by Psalm 37:4 'Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.'
save money (pay off debts & move out)
travel
say yes (this one is from Yes Man)
i think that's all. at least for now.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
another 2008 recap
1) Best moments of 2008:
cat n fiddle. los angeles. birthday. tahoe. hume. contentment. kisses. best friends. concerts. new friends. old friends. oregon.
2) What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
went to Utah.
3) Did you keep the new year resolution that you made last year?
i dont make resolutions for this exact reason
4) Did anyone close to you give birth?
not close to me.
5) Did anyone close to you die?
nope.
6) What countries did you visit?
none
7) What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
happiness, love, contentment
8) What dates from 2008 with be etched upon your memory?
nicole's birthday, dear and the headlights concerts, new years in tahoe
9) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
getting a full time job
10) What was your biggest failure?
falling HARD
11) Did you suffer illness or injury?
nothing more than a broken heart
12) What was the best thing you bought?
computer
13) Whose behavior merited celebration?
lindsay, nicole, brooke, betsy
14) Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
this one boy.
15) Where did most of your money go?
gas, clothes, travels
16) What did you get really, really excited about?
thinking it was something more than it was. making new friends. all the concerts and new music.
17) What songs will always remind you of 2008?
i know - dear and the headlights
gives you hell - the all-american rejects
so what - pink
shut up and let me go, that's not my name - the ting tings
be ok - ingrid michaelson
you are the best thing - ray lamontagne
better in time - leona lewis
18) Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder: about the same
b) thinner or fatter: the same
c) richer or poorer: richer
19) What do you wish you'd done more of?
saving money. trusting God. not trusting boys.
20) What do you wish you'd done less of?
mope, complain
21) How did you spend Christmas?
with my family
22) Did you fall in love in 2008?
nope
23) How many one night stands?
zero
24) What was your favorite tv program?
gossip girl. the office. the hills. 30 rock. grey's anatomy. kath & kim. LOST. privileged.
25) What was the best book you read?
the shack. the last 2 harry potters.
26) What was your greatest musical discovery?
the ting tings. band of horses. barcelona. she & him.
27) What did you want and get?
a full time job.
28) What did you want and not get?
love.
29) What was your favorite film of the year?
the dark knight
30) What did you do on your birthday?
drinks with friends and a party a few days later
31) What would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
contentment
32) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
not caring anymore.
33) What kept you sane?
friends. music.
34) What celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
always: gavin degraw, christian bale, paul rudd and john krasinski
new: chace crawford, david cook and dustin kensrue
35) What political issue stirred you the most?
i didn't care enough
36)Who do you miss?
nicole, adam, extended family
37) Who was the best new person you met?
a lot of re-kindled friendships and my new years friends
38) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008?
take your time with everything. and you have to work for what you want.
39) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"conjuring up my melancholy, oh this can't go on
certain my sadness was necessary, oh i've been so wrong
and all that distance that i dispatch will never help me feel less alone
stope all that dark and senseless brooding, sing a different song
don't get dramatic this ain't the movies, turn the camera off
yeah all that acting seemed fun at first but i've been playing this roll for too long"
40) Was 2008 a good year for you?
not really.
41) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
getting my heart broken, moving back into my parents house
42) Where were you when 2008 began?
in los angeles watching Batman Begins
43) Favorite album of 2008?
drunk like bible times - dear and the headlights
when the world comes down - the all-american rejects
19 - adele
be ok - ingrid michaelson
cease to begin - band of horses
absolutes - barcelona
44) Least favorite album of 2008?
i hate to admit it, but gavin's album was an epic disappointment.
45) Favorite color of 2008?
black and royal blue
46) Favorite holiday of 2008?
christmas
47) Favorite drink of 2008?
peppermint mocha
48) Where will you be when 2008 ends?
i was in tahoe :)
49) Who will you be with when 2008 ends?
brooke, arianne, christy, matt, craig, jared, dana, kip
50) Do you have a new years resolution for 2009?
just to be freaking happy and become and adult
51) Did you break up with anyone in 2008?
kinda
52) Did you make any new friends in 2008?
yes
53) What was your favorite month of 2008?
probably july
54) How many different states did you travel to in 2008?
oregon and utah
55) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2008?
no
56) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2008?
no
57) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
unfortunately
58) How much money did you spend in 2008?
too much
59) What are you plans for 2009?
school, work, new job?, travel, new friends, have fun, concerts
60) Any advice or last words?
just be happy
cat n fiddle. los angeles. birthday. tahoe. hume. contentment. kisses. best friends. concerts. new friends. old friends. oregon.
2) What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
went to Utah.
3) Did you keep the new year resolution that you made last year?
i dont make resolutions for this exact reason
4) Did anyone close to you give birth?
not close to me.
5) Did anyone close to you die?
nope.
6) What countries did you visit?
none
7) What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
happiness, love, contentment
8) What dates from 2008 with be etched upon your memory?
nicole's birthday, dear and the headlights concerts, new years in tahoe
9) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
getting a full time job
10) What was your biggest failure?
falling HARD
11) Did you suffer illness or injury?
nothing more than a broken heart
12) What was the best thing you bought?
computer
13) Whose behavior merited celebration?
lindsay, nicole, brooke, betsy
14) Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
this one boy.
15) Where did most of your money go?
gas, clothes, travels
16) What did you get really, really excited about?
thinking it was something more than it was. making new friends. all the concerts and new music.
17) What songs will always remind you of 2008?
i know - dear and the headlights
gives you hell - the all-american rejects
so what - pink
shut up and let me go, that's not my name - the ting tings
be ok - ingrid michaelson
you are the best thing - ray lamontagne
better in time - leona lewis
18) Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder: about the same
b) thinner or fatter: the same
c) richer or poorer: richer
19) What do you wish you'd done more of?
saving money. trusting God. not trusting boys.
20) What do you wish you'd done less of?
mope, complain
21) How did you spend Christmas?
with my family
22) Did you fall in love in 2008?
nope
23) How many one night stands?
zero
24) What was your favorite tv program?
gossip girl. the office. the hills. 30 rock. grey's anatomy. kath & kim. LOST. privileged.
25) What was the best book you read?
the shack. the last 2 harry potters.
26) What was your greatest musical discovery?
the ting tings. band of horses. barcelona. she & him.
27) What did you want and get?
a full time job.
28) What did you want and not get?
love.
29) What was your favorite film of the year?
the dark knight
30) What did you do on your birthday?
drinks with friends and a party a few days later
31) What would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
contentment
32) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
not caring anymore.
33) What kept you sane?
friends. music.
34) What celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
always: gavin degraw, christian bale, paul rudd and john krasinski
new: chace crawford, david cook and dustin kensrue
35) What political issue stirred you the most?
i didn't care enough
36)Who do you miss?
nicole, adam, extended family
37) Who was the best new person you met?
a lot of re-kindled friendships and my new years friends
38) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008?
take your time with everything. and you have to work for what you want.
39) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"conjuring up my melancholy, oh this can't go on
certain my sadness was necessary, oh i've been so wrong
and all that distance that i dispatch will never help me feel less alone
stope all that dark and senseless brooding, sing a different song
don't get dramatic this ain't the movies, turn the camera off
yeah all that acting seemed fun at first but i've been playing this roll for too long"
40) Was 2008 a good year for you?
not really.
41) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
getting my heart broken, moving back into my parents house
42) Where were you when 2008 began?
in los angeles watching Batman Begins
43) Favorite album of 2008?
drunk like bible times - dear and the headlights
when the world comes down - the all-american rejects
19 - adele
be ok - ingrid michaelson
cease to begin - band of horses
absolutes - barcelona
44) Least favorite album of 2008?
i hate to admit it, but gavin's album was an epic disappointment.
45) Favorite color of 2008?
black and royal blue
46) Favorite holiday of 2008?
christmas
47) Favorite drink of 2008?
peppermint mocha
48) Where will you be when 2008 ends?
i was in tahoe :)
49) Who will you be with when 2008 ends?
brooke, arianne, christy, matt, craig, jared, dana, kip
50) Do you have a new years resolution for 2009?
just to be freaking happy and become and adult
51) Did you break up with anyone in 2008?
kinda
52) Did you make any new friends in 2008?
yes
53) What was your favorite month of 2008?
probably july
54) How many different states did you travel to in 2008?
oregon and utah
55) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2008?
no
56) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2008?
no
57) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
unfortunately
58) How much money did you spend in 2008?
too much
59) What are you plans for 2009?
school, work, new job?, travel, new friends, have fun, concerts
60) Any advice or last words?
just be happy
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